Yesterday I had a good show in Salem at the Sacred Space psychic and vendor fair. It was pretty cool to be around so many various people and listen to their belief systems when it came to spirituality. I’m blown away at how kind and selfless people were. From the vendors to the people that came out to visit.
Oregon is just…too cool for words.
So, a few words on how we got here.
We packed everything up in the back of a TWO door (no, not a FOUR door, but a TWO door) Rav 4 and a small Toyota Tacoma pickup truck that we absolutely could NOT live without, shipped up my studio contents in about 30-40 medium and large USPS shipping boxes and 2 drugged dogs and drove 1,000 miles.
Let me tell you, going through HIS stuffage and MY stuffage…then going through OUR stuffage and measuring what space we had and making those hard decisions of what’s really important in life (pictures, laptops, his baseball gloves, little clay stuff the kids made when they were in school etc) vs what’s not important, mixers, blenders, furniture, clothes and shoes) was HARD.
I had no idea until we went though that ugly stage of our moving…that while we weren’t eligible for an episode of “Hoarder’s,” we had a bit of the same mentality.
He would look at MY stuff and say “ummm, are you SURE you can leave that behind? We can get another one up there” and I would snort and retort and make my case on why I should keep it and take up precious space and haul it with us.
Then, days later, realize he was right and put it in the “I love it but it’s not going with me” pile. I was more snide in my wording “Umm…that’s a piece of crap, we’re not taking it.” (it got a bit feral at the end because we were just so SICK of going through STUFF that owned us)
Of course, this took months and it was painful. At the end of the day we both learned a powerful lesson… we are owned by the crap we own.
Repeat after me “We are owned by the stuff we own”
Now I get it. I used to feel sorry for minimalists! Minimalists are pretty smart after all!!!
Their houses might seem empty to the rest of us, but their lives make …more…sense.
And, I bet they don’t have those discussions of “what stuff are we taking vs what stuff are we leaving behind.”
And then there was this…
We had no house to rent, no hotels to stay in and no month to month storage planned.
We stayed with my inlaws while I furiously house hunted for rentals.
Our dogs were boarded (his dad had just had open heart surgery) and our stuff got tucked away in their garage for storage.
My canopy, my display stuff, furniture, shoes, clothes, lamps, dog toys, knick knacks, picture frames ALL were sold and left behind… ALL that stuff has been replaced.
All of it with nicer stuff.
And now we have less stuff.
That bridge in the picture ^^ up there?
It represents the bridge of dreams.
We had to leave one shore to reach another.
That bridge represents so much amazing growth on both our parts to get where we have gotten today.
We didn’t know about employment, housing, medical care…we had none of that set up before we left.
We took our strength, belief in each other, our love for each other and a few crazy sleepless nights and just kept acting as if we were going to cross the bridge successfully (whatever the hell THAT looks like) and we knew we were going to be okay. We were scared and thrilled at the same time.
The sense of relief we felt knowing we were moving was palpable in our home and in our lives.
People were aghast as it came up in one defensive conversation after another ~
“What do you <insert judgey you’re absolutely batshit crazy look here> mean you’re moving without a moving van/pod/moving company and selling all your stuff/buying new stuff up there?”
“you’re moving to where it rains all the time, you’re going to get that Seasonal Affective Disorder and next thing you know we’ll read about your suicide” (no longer on my facebook friends list…this person went into the same pile of stuff we left behind 😉 )
“He doesn’t have a job lined up? Do you know how hard it is for middle age men to find work, in OREGON of all places” to “you don’t have a house lined up? or an apartment?”
“You’re never going to make it selling jewelry in Oregon, they only wear birkenstocks and hoodies, nobody wears spinner rings”
YES, people said those things!!
I heard it all. From the oh so sincere “I know what’s best for you dearie” peeps, to the people who were secretly jealous and astounded that we had the balls and ovaries to pull it off.
How do I know they were jealous? They apologized for being snide and said they were wrong and that they were jealous and it came out as snide and judgey. All the way to people who just…couldn’t believe it. We had some amazingly supportive “you can do this and we’ll help you!” peeps too.
So, we’re here.
Fast forward… He’s got a job. I’ve got my work.
We’ve got a house. It’s not much but it’s all this little town had left that would take dogs. (seriously … if you try to rent with dogs, it’s challenging!)
We’ve got kickass neighbors (seriously, they’re the bestest neighbors we have ever had) the air clean, the water is much more drinkable, there are no sales taxes, it’s small business friendlier, <insert more stuff here that’s great about being here>
I feel better mentally, physically and spiritually than ever. Our marriage has grown stronger. I miss my kids and I miss my grandson and a few really cool friends.
I miss none of my stuff. I don’t even remember what stuff we left behind or that we fought about (we laugh about it now hahahaha)
Sometimes you have to plan out what you want in life. When I wanted a good man, I had to write it out “everything I want in a man and everything I don’t want in a man.” Then I had to look at who I was attracted to and finally it all fell into place.
Sometimes you just gotta decide what the hell it is that you want, take a deep breath, look at the bridge you gotta cross, get rid of the “stuff” that holds you back and GO.
What an amazing trip.
See? The road holds up 🙂 There are others on the bridge too. We’re all just following our dreams. Some of us have no idea what we want but it’s there…that FEELING of “something that’s special…all mine…” that just grabs you by the heart strings and you have to follow it just like you have to breathe.
Just so you know, I drove back and forth over that damned bridge to get a photo that had NO other cars 😛 I’m that dreamy and I wanted it that bad!
We trusted that it would all turn out okay.
It was kinda sorta like jumping out of a burning building that we knew was on fire (leaving So Cal in general) and we just allowed ourselves the space to let things get ugly while we made the transition.
Because we trusted that it would all unfold beautifully.
So, trust the process. Trust yourself. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Get rid of the dead weight, save your money and go live your dream. It’s waiting for you.
I don’t know what you have to do to get “there” …maybe you don’t either. Draw pictures, make lists, think and meditate about what YOU want in YOUR life.
Are you happy where you’re at? If not, then move. You’re not a tree.
I think it’s absolutely insane to stay where you’re not happy. And to stay with someone that doesn’t make you happy, at a job that might pay well but your soul is sucked dry every day or in a community that you feel alone in.
Find your passion, find your place and find your peeps. <<< put this on a mirror!
I subscribe to this “notes from the Universe” and one day a note came to my inbox that said “When you reach, Linda, I reach.”
Reach. You’re worth the work. Dreams are amazing.
Not all of us get that chance that Rick and I took… we are well aware of that. We saw it and took it. We reached. The Universe did the rest. But we worked our butts off and sacrificed a lot to get here.
Reach. Do something today towards your dream.
A tiny step will do.
There were days where I could only look at a pair of socks and cry and wonder “what @#%!$# pile do these go in?” when we were packing to move. And I realized something, sobbing over socks that day. Throwing stuff in the give away/throw away pile has so much power. And that’s all that got done that day. Ice cream out of the carton and socks.
“If you reach, I’ll reach.” That’s what the Universe said. I had a tiny spark of faith, Rick had a tiny spark of faith and here we are.
I know it sounds hokey to some of you that we did what we did to land where we landed but to us it’s been anything BUT.
Life is short. What are you going to do today about your dreams?
Are you going to go to bed one more night and toss and turn because you’re not being true to yourself?
Today is that fork in the road. Everything you do is up to you. Feel the fear, walk through the uglies and reach.